FATHER’S DAY AND NEIGHBORING

June 2023
Deana Tucker Dothage

 

Deana Tucker, Seibert Tucker



When I was a young child, my dad lived on a lake in Illinois. He spent most of his time with my brothers when he was not at work. I was with them on weekends, holidays and summer weeks, some of the happiest times of my life. We were outside grilling, shooting soda cans, riding motorcycles, hiking, selecting Christmas trees, playing with the dog, and my favorites, boating and fishing. When I was 13, a drunk driver hit our dad head on, while traveling across an Illinois bridge. It was so devastating to my brothers and me. A destructive loss that has cost us more than one can imagine.

What does this have to do with neighboring?

My next door and nearby neighbors in St. Charles surrounded me with kindness and friendship. My neighbors took care of me, which also helped my mother tremendously.  These neighbors were my friends. Their siblings and parents included me in family events and even daily life. I keep in touch with many of them 50 years later.

My neighborhood church youth group and choir friends and their parents treated me well and included me in family and church activities.  The same is true of school friends, many of whom I still visit and correspond with today.

When I was 14, my 19-year-old brother was killed in a car crash. Once again, my St. Charles friends, my brothers, and my dad & brother’s Illinois friends, rallied around me in support.

With social media, I’ve been able to keep in touch easily, and reconnected with people from those days.

Keeping in touch became a way of life for me. This year, I’m organizing another annual high school alumni event, coinciding with our 45th class reunion. This event and evolving friendships with those high school people have made a difference in my life. High school alumni have often told me how much they value the reunions & alumni events, because school friends & memories were important to them too.

So what does neighboring have to do with this story? The acts of love & kindness from my brothers, my neighbors, my church, school, and Illinois friends were critical in my survival. It was instilled in me to connect with people and to reach out to people in distress, especially from tragedies. These people molded me in many ways.  I’ve had some bumps in my road, but always, people have supported my journey through life. My careers (law enforcement, insurance claims, insurance agency, church office manager, mobility coordinator, traffic safety professional and now extension engagement specialist in community development) have all focused on helping, protecting, and educating people.

Being a part of the Engaged Neighbor program is full circle for me. It is an honor to be a part of a program that encourages kindness. I want to be the kind of neighbor that my neighbors were to me when I needed them the most. Acts of kindness and neighboring teaches other to do the same.

There are amazing men out there who look out for people without fathers.

Happy Father’s Day to Fathers and to all men who play a role in the lives of children and adults around them. 

 

Deana Tucker Dothage,  MPA

Extension Engagement Specialist in Community Development
MU Extension in St. Charles County

260 Brown Road | St. Peters, MO 63376

O: 636-970-3000 | E: dothaged@missouri.edu
W: https://extension.missouri.edu/counties/st-charles

How do you pronounce Deana Dothage?

 

Missouri Good Neighbor Week is Sept. 28 - Oct. 4: http://missourigoodneighborweek.com

Enrollment open for Neighboring 101: https://extension.missouri.edu/events/introduction-to-neighboring-101-2023

 

 

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